I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
