I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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