peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up under a house in Key West
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
