there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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