Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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