Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
