No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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