Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
