Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize