I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
