Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
