dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
