My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
