office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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