Will you blow on my dice?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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