Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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