Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
