Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
