nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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