i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A bitchslap is in order.
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