You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize