Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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