I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My penis needs a shock collar
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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