The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
