I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
