I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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