Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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