Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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