the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
