Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nicole vs. Life
Need sex. Gaining weight.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
