this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
