Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
