it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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