I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
