dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
