yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
