think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
