ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
