sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
