just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
