remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
