I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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