2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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