my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
