that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My cat gives me a boner
false alarm. still invincible.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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