just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
