So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
