my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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