i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize