is your mom at the bar?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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