So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
