After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
