did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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