The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
