Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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