I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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