R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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