Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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