i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
