Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize