he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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