I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
