so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
