Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
