singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
