what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
